Today, while I was perusing around my garden I was visited again by my pirates from the sky. They come down every once and awhile. When they come they bring gigantic chests of gold and jewels and they let me have a little. The captain of the ship, Captain James K. Swordfeather, was related to my grandfather apparently, that same grandfather that I hated so much. Now that I'm the only surviving relative, Captain Swordfeather bestows heaps of his riches upon me. I keep it hidden in my medicine chest. Mr. Twit doesn't brush his teeth, so he never opens it and he'll never find it.
I never know when Captain Swordfeather will pay me a visit. When he does I hurry inside the house and rush Mr. Twit out of the house. I send him to town with some measly task, like buying rat traps or more glue to paint the tree. The blithering idiot doesn't even know about Captain Feathersword. Once Mr. Twit leaves I invite Mr. Feahersword in the house for some re-strained coffe grounds and old bread, and idle chatter. He is the only human that I even relatively enjoy the company of, and I don't ever want Mr. Twit to ruin it with his ghastly presence.
Captain Feathersword doesn't come very often. But I keep my garden in tip top shape, thorn and gnarly and dangerous as ever, so just in case he decides to drop from the sky and pay me a visit I'm all set and ready.